We're Off to See the Wizard!

Yep! It's official! We are off to LA to a clown convention. It's only for 3 days, but when you are with a bunch of clowns....well, it should be a hoot!

Junk

I have mentioned before that my dear husband's blogname is Pack Rat. There is very good reason for this name! Unfortunately, I think that particular malady is contageous! I have a tall, 4-drawer filing cabinet that I have been draging around for 30 years! Yep! I have had that monstrosity longer than I have been married!

Now, I have decided to bite the bullet and get rid of the thing. I told Pack Rat of my plans. What was his reaction? yep, you guessed it! He wants to put it into his garage.

Not if I can get rid of it first! lol

Life-changing Decisions

Have you ever made a decision that you KNEW would affect you for the rest of your life? I'm sure you have...I know I have. For some reason those decisions are the most difficult and frightening to make.

Poodle has made one such decision. This decision is really bigger than any she has ever made before, and possibly bigger than any she will make again (except, possibly, the decision to marry). She has decided to go on an 18-month mission for the church. She hopes to leave around the first of the new year. She came home from a church dance last night at 12:30 and we stayed up talking about her choice until 3:30 a.m. this morning. Today was spent calling her siblings, relatives and friends to let them know. This is truly an momentus occasion. To say that we are thrilled would be a masterpiece of understatement. She had indicated an interest in a mission, but for some reason, we had not taken her seriously. We now know that she has spent many hours in thought and prayer about this next step in her life and we are happy for her!

Go Poodle! We are with you all the way!

Jill

Today is my "best friend's" birthday. She is 57 years old today. We grew up together, she lived next door to us until she was about 8, I think. Then she moved to North Hollywood, while our family stayed in Van Nuys. No worries--I visited at her house every other weekend, and she stayed at our house on the opposite weekends. When our family moved to Fresno when I was nine, I was sure I would never see Jill again. Our parents understood our closeness, however, and they made arrangements that would see us through 9 more years of friendship. I took the bus to N. Hollywood and spent 2-4 weeks at her house during the summer, and she took the bus up to Fresno spending 2-4 weeks at our home. I would never allow my 9 year old daughter to ride the bus unescorted in these days! I hated it when Pig and Poodle rode the bus to Utah together! (And Pig was over 21 at the time!)

Jill and I stayed in touch through my marriage and divorce, and her marriage and baby. Then, somehow, after 26 years, we lost touch. I have thought of her many times throughout the years. We had many happy hours and memories. She was the person who introduced me to Yogurt when no one else seemed to know what it was. Ditto tofu...could that be why I like to eat both?

Today, I wrote the date, and realized that it is Jill's birthday. I miss her and her tremendous sense of fun and adventure. How sad that I do not know where she is, or what happened to her parents, with whom I was also close.

Mid-Life Crisis?

Pig tells me she thinks I'm having a mid-life crisis...I'm NOT having a mid-life crisis! lol I may be having a end-life crisis, but I don't think so.

Possibly my blues were because my health had deteriorated to the point that once I got off work, I could do nothing else. Even cooking dinner or putting the dishes away were not something I could do. Standing was murder, walking was impossible.

So yesterday I went to the Dr...he changed my Rx, and after major drugging yesterday and last night, I had improved enough that PackRat and I went out tonight. We went to the Farmer's market, and even danced 2 1/2 dances to the "Big Band" that was playing. AND I've had the ability to sit at the computer for 30 minutes checking my email.

Here's hoping the Rx will help more than it will hinder...

Christmas

I'm not sure how many days until Christmas, but it is way too soon for me! So I decided that instead of spending time on the computer, I would be much better off to start on my Christmas presents. So tonight, I finished up a Pooh project I had started earlier this year. Now all I have to do is find out WHO likes Pooh (besides dg'd #2, that is). Then I have MORE Pooh stuff to make. Hummmmm...maybe I'm the one who likes Pooh? lol

Mortality

Just thinking (which I should probably do LESS of)...
I am just shy of 60 years old.
By this time of her life, my mother:
Had all her children grown and gainfully employed.
14 of her 17 grandchildren had been born, and the oldest one was 12 or 13.
Had been a very active and very respected businesswoman in her community
Had owned (and sold at a profit) 3 separate businesses,
....plus had abandoned 1 unprofitable
Had owned (and sold 6 homes)
Had already had uncounted surgeries
Seen her husband have 6 major heart attacks within hours of each other

Also,
By 10 years additional (when she was 70), my mother:
Had all of her grandchildren born
Had lost her husband of almost 50 years, after nursing him for a year
Had lost one grandson to an automobile accident
Survived Lung Cancer
Lost her dear sister
And her surviving brother
Was already showing signs of Altheizmer's

In 18 years additional--When my mom 78--
Altheizmer's had already claimed her soul, she often did not know her dear grandchildren

In 20 years additional--When my mom was 80,
She passed away on her 80th birthday after a week in a coma brought on by a stroke

So, by this reckoning,
I have a maximum of 20 years
My OLDEST grandchild will be 25 (I may live to see her married)
My current youngest grandchild(ren) will be 20.

Will I live to see:
My grandchildren graduate from high school?
-Marry?
-Go on missions?
My children happy?

What will I have accomplished with my life? What have I done noteworthy? What impact have I made in the world?

Believe it or not, I am NOT feeling sorry for myself.

At least I think I'm not! lol

Circus

(Wow! Has it really been 7 days since I've written???)

Last Thursday night our family (all 3 of us) plus a friend of Poodle's went to Barnum and Bailey's Circus. It was fun. DH went down on the floor before the show to watch the clowns "up front and personal"...needless to say, the other 3 of us wandered a bit at the booths, then went and found our seats and watched the people...which was pretty entertaining, really.

During the show, there were several things that struck me. I'm expecting the circus of my youth--which I will never see again. Either that circus OR my youth! I love the animals, the elephants, horses and dogs, especially. Never have been all that excited over the big cats. I also love the opening and close of each circus. The pagentry! How cool is that?

Because my grandfather was a trapeze/high wire artist before he ran away from his dad's circus, I have also always loved those shows. I may be one of the few living people who remember those performers in tights rather than spandex. Imagine my suprise when I saw the high wire artists in baggy pants and "T" shirts! I kept shaking my head, trying to come to grips with it. At least the flyers still wore spandex! lol

Also, the shows themselves change from time to time. Several years ago every circus had some live statue performances. I thought they were hideous. I must not have been the only one, because they lasted only about 3 years. This year the new addition was "Break Dancing" Yep! Center Ring! What a suprise to see all these kids from the 'hoods in their baggy-type pants break dancing. I much preferred the "traditional" acrobats in rings 1 and 3, but I can see how the circus changes for it's patrons.

Which brings me to my point. We must embrace change. Sometimes we must even seek it out. Even when it makes us uncomfortable and is not something we like, we must at least accept it.
Hope I can remember to live by that.

Sign In Front of a Church

"You are not too bad to come in...
You are not too good to stay out."

Food for thought. Would that we all took it to heart

Choices

I was driving close to the neighborhood where I grew up today. It made me miss that home, and brought back many wonderful memories. I wondered aloud to PackRat how my life would be so different if my parents had stayed in that house and not moved out of town. My mother would not have started her own business, and my father would not have been able to achieve his life-long dream of starting his own answering service. Where would I be today? What training would I have sought? Would I have come home after my divorce and completed my education instead of staying in the mountains? So many possibilities.

Funny how choices make a difference in how your life goes.

The Pet Cemetary

As our kids were growing up, we lived in the mountain area of Oakhurst, CA. We shared apx 4.5 acres with my parents (the children's grandparents). It happens that our trailer was about 7 feet away from the property line. Across the rickety barbed-wire fence sat our pet cemetary. It started out with a cat, I think. And it continued to grow, and grow, and grow! Since we lived in that same spot for 12 years, and we had LOTS of pets, the cemetary grew to about 12' x 12'. Sometimes I miss it, because many of those pets meant a lot to me.

Prayers for London's Citizens

Prayers for the people of England, especially those of London. May they be comforted by their God, and may they join together--all faiths.

May we as a world realize that the individual citizens of the world must take responsibility for our actions, and to not shelter those among us who would take innocent lives. Citizens--men, women and children on their way to work and school are NOT combatants! Those who set these bombs and facilitated it are criminals, and should be punished. I pray that their neighbors do not harbor them, and withdraw safety from them.

The Three MeMe

Pig tagged me to do this, so here it is.

Three Nicknames
* Mom (Not much imagination there!)
* Grandma (ditto!)
* Poodle's Mom

Three Things I Like About Myself
* My Friendliness
* My General Sense of Cheerfulness
* My Love of others--esp. my family

Three Things That Scare Me
* Heights
* June Bugs
* Failure

Three Things I'm Wearing Right Now
* Glasses
* Dress
* Shoes

Three Fave. Bands Growing Up
* Herman's Hermits
* Mamas and Papas
* Peter, Paul and Mary

2 Truths and a Lie
* I like my job
* I like my OJT trainer
* I'm a news junkie

Three Things I Can't Do Without
* Glasses
* News (see above)
* Spell Check (or a Dictionary!)

Three Things I Can Certainly Live Without
* A particular co-worker (has to be one in every crowd)
* Eating anything I swim with (no fish for me!)
* Disrespect for flag/country/religion (we need to respect ALL flags/countries/religions)

Three Places I Want to Go On Vacation
* Cruise to Mexico
* Early Church History Sites
* Anywhere My Grandchildren are

Three Things I Want to do Before I Die
* Earn my BA Degree
* Serve a full-time mission with my husband
* Leave something that I have made with my own hands for each of my kids

Ok, Pig. Now you know the rest of the story....

Renaming

Ok, Pig has been making lots of noises about her name. She really doesn't like it. So, I've come up with some alternatives. I'll let anyone who reads this enthralling blog to vote.

Bull (because she's bull-headed, or because she's full of it)
Goat (because she will do whatever she wants, just like the goat we had when she was little)
Mule/Donkey/Ass (Because she is STUBORN)
Camel (watch out! they spit)
Red-headed step-child (because she is! lol)

Any other suggestions?

On Death Part Two

A couple of days ago I posted that I had a driving need to drive to Rio Vista to visit my maternal grandparent's graves. I also mentioned that Owl figured prominently in a dream, and I flelt that the presence of Owl probably was one of the reasons I was drawn to Rio Vista.

I received a call from my cousin today. This is the only cousin with whom I am in contact. She teaches school in Sacramento, and was raised in Rio Vista. She also has hindered any geneology we have tried to do on that side of the family.

When I told her that I had been thinking of calling her, she was very glad. Turns out that she blacked out while driving in March and was seriously injured. Just about all she can do is sit at the computer...and guess what she has been working on--yep, guessed it in one: Geneology!

She was very excited when I suggested driving up to Sacto to pick her up and going on over to Rio Vista. Just she and me, making a day of it.

So Owl DID have bad news, but nothing as bad as I feared.

Oh yes, for those who care--The MissingLink is still in jail. I may even get more info on him when I see my cousin.

Personality Traits

If I could prevent our children from inheriting one behavioral habit from me, it would be the habit of complaining. Unfortunately, I find myself complaining about anything and everything entirely too much. In fact, I have been working hard at developing a more positive attitude.

Except when it comes to that behavorial trait of my husband's that I would love to prevent our children from developing--that is being a messy pack rat! I love my husband, really I do--but I really HATE his stuff!

ACCIDENT!

Poodle had to work today, so we got in the car a bit early and off we went towards her work. She wanted to “do” something, but didn’t have enough time to even stop by our local scrapbook store, so…what to do???

I decided she had enough time to drive down some back streets towards work. Poodle is almost 21, and still hasn’t gotten her license. Mostly it is because she works nights and I work days, and who else is there to teach her?

So, off we go! She’s doing great! I have her turn down a residential street so we can change drivers and I can take her on to work. “Make a u-turn here, Poodle.” Hummmm not-so-much! I knew she was going to hit the curb, so I told her to stop. There was a bit of communication gap between the foot and the brain, I think. She shot forward instead of stopping. Well, she DID stop. On top of a very large boulder! Poodle was in tears! We got out of the car and I gave her a huge hug. Told her that no one was injured, and all would be well. Some very hot boys from down the street came running up to see if we were ok. Poor Poodle was too upset to notice the hotties! That’s upset, in my mind. The neighbor two houses down came over, inspected the damage, and declared that the worst part was getting the car off the boulder. No major car damage in his estimation. He is a retired Colonel in the Army (I think), and gave her a brief hug, then sat her at the car and asked her, “Well, did you learn anything?” That got her laughing. She said, “Yes, no more driving for me!” He laughed, and told her that as long as no one was hurt, the big thing was to look at the experience as to what she could learn from it. What a nice guy. It really helped her put it more in perspective, I think.

The owner of the rock (and the front lawn) came out of the house with some water for us, the next door neighbor gave us each a coke, and I called triple A. The rock’s owner’s wife came home shortly thereafter and gave Poodle a hug, then asked her if she wanted a ride to work. Poodle didn’t want to go to work (too embarrassed, she said), but I told her she needed to be there. RockOwner’s wife took her to work, wasn’t that nice of her?

Triple A called back, and said that since we wound up in a front yard other than our own, they would not come get us until we had clearance from Fresno PD. I had visions of my car sitting as a lawn decoration for a week, since I can only guess how low on the priority list it would be. So I decided to call somebody else. Finding someone open on the 4^th of July is a whole ‘nother story!

The accident happened just before 1:00. The tow truck showed up about 2:15 or so, and he spent 2 ½ hours getting that car off the rock! Keep in mind that the temperature in Fresno is 104 degrees F today! RockOwner supplied him with plenty of water and a cold wet towel. He finally got it off the rock, changed the flat tire, and I was on my way! I really don’t think there is much more damage than a new tire and a realignment—both of which I just had done 3 weeks ago! We will have to see how this all shakes out in the next week or so.

We went to Poodle’s work so we could give her a hug and tell her that her dad wasn’t going to kill Poodle. Happened to stop by close to her lunch hour, so we brought her home for a 15-minute swim. I hope that helps her aching back.

On Death

I feel a driving need to go visit my maternal grandparent's graves in Rio Vista. This feeling came about suddenly this morning while I was showering. It is one of those feelings on which I must act. Perhaps I have the drive because I had a "Dream-Dream" about Owl last night. Just Owl, no people, but he was front and center. Perhaps it is related to my regrets about my failure to visit FarmerFather before his death.

This morning I cannot get one of the last vivid memories of my mother out of my mind. My sister and I had driven her over to Rio Vista to visit her parent's graves. Once we found them, she dissolved in sobbing tears draped over their headstones. It was a gripping, gut-retching emotional crisis for her. Also for us, as we could not help her deal with her grief. I had the feeling that she knew her time was short, and she needed to connect with her family in some concrete way. Her Altheizmer's was taking over more and more of her personality, and this was a short window of lucidity for her. I still can recall the personal feeling of anguish watching her grieve. Why must I visit that same place, and soon? I haven't a clue. Only that I must. Owl is flying.

Gospel Principles Never Change

It's Sunday afternoon, and while I'm awaiting each of my 5 children to "check in" with their mother for their Sunday telephone call, I'm reviewing the messages we learned today in church.

We had a change in Bishopric this morning. Who was called as the new Bishop is less important than the why/how. As I review my previous church experiences, when there was a change in Pastors, it was quite often accompanied by an exit/influx of congregational membership. We often followed the minister rather than the message. When I committed myself to my current membership, I committed myself to the message, carried by the messenger. When the new Bishop's name was called, I raised my hand to the square in support of his leadership. I know that this is the man that Heavenly Father has called to lead our congregation for the next period of time. That is very important to me, and gives me much comfort.

We later had a lesson on a talk given by Thomas S. Monson. (and as soon as pig teaches me how to link, I will insert a link to the talk here). Basically, the topic was as my title suggests: Gospel Principles Never Change. However, we should never be complacent. We should continue to grow and gain more knowledge.

Since I carry a notebook in church, and often take notes when in class or during a speaker, I have my notes from the lesson, and wish to share them with you now. President Monson identified four ways to stay close to the principles of the gospel. They are:

1. Hold Family Home Evenings
We all know that the more time you spend with your family, the more close you become to one another through shared (fun/joyful) experiences.

2. Debt
Become, or remain debt-free. Interest will own you, you will work for it and it will take over your life and leave you joy-less.

3. Communicate
We need to become good listeners to our children
Moms need to share the household duties with their children and spouses
We need to be patient, but not indulgent with our children.

4. Example
We should live our lives so our children want to follow our example

The teacher ended with this quote, which I love:

"When God speaks and men obey, the men will always be right."

Sharing

This is really yesterday's post. It is showing up today because after I finally got home after a long day at the 2nd job, Poodle took over the computer. By the time I took my meds and veged a bit, it was way too late to try to put two good words together, much less two good sentences!

I did discover something about myself, however. I don't like to share. In fact, I REALLY don't like to share. Not my computer, not my pens, not my desk...nope, nothing! I am really a selfish person at heart. Bad Mommy!

Ok, I'm over it! As Pig would say. I've embraced my selfishness, and will try to hide it from the rest of the world--until someone else, like dear husband wants to get on "my" computer, that is!

Relaxation and Exercise

Yesterday I had the privledge of receiving a full-body massage. If you have not ever had one, I can certainly recommend it! I was a puddle by the time she was through! I've decided to treat myself to one of these at least once a month! Poodle has decided she wants one too--but she will have to pay for it herself. lol

Today I decided it was time to get off the old duff and do a bit of exercising. Swimming type of exercise. Since I was once a competitive swimmer, one would think this would be an easy exercise for me. Not quite. First, I had to wiggle into the swimsuit. THAT was fun exercise in and of itself. Finally it was time to jump into the pool. Since it was 104 degrees F, getting into the pool was the easy part. Forcing myself to swim was something else again. So I did 4 laps. Yep, count them 1-2-3-4. Well, they were just the flutter kick. Rest was required after this vast expenditure of energy! Then, 4 laps of arms only. Ok, go right into 2 sprint laps freestyle, followed up by a 'cool-down" (read REST). Another couple of laps complete strokes and I was done. Wow. 15 minutes in the pool. Somewhat of a record, I think.

All in all, I think I want to go back and just have the message, forget the exercise.