On Death

I feel a driving need to go visit my maternal grandparent's graves in Rio Vista. This feeling came about suddenly this morning while I was showering. It is one of those feelings on which I must act. Perhaps I have the drive because I had a "Dream-Dream" about Owl last night. Just Owl, no people, but he was front and center. Perhaps it is related to my regrets about my failure to visit FarmerFather before his death.

This morning I cannot get one of the last vivid memories of my mother out of my mind. My sister and I had driven her over to Rio Vista to visit her parent's graves. Once we found them, she dissolved in sobbing tears draped over their headstones. It was a gripping, gut-retching emotional crisis for her. Also for us, as we could not help her deal with her grief. I had the feeling that she knew her time was short, and she needed to connect with her family in some concrete way. Her Altheizmer's was taking over more and more of her personality, and this was a short window of lucidity for her. I still can recall the personal feeling of anguish watching her grieve. Why must I visit that same place, and soon? I haven't a clue. Only that I must. Owl is flying.