A Life Worth Living

Sometimes we must start at the ending to see the beginning. We had an ending last week when my dear stepfather passed away. His memorial service was on what would have been his 89^th birthday. So, those who offer their condolences often say, “Well, he had a good life.” Yes, as a matter of fact, he had a good life. But only because of the type of man he was. His son (my stepbrother) is really a not nice person, and I won’t even take the time here to give him an identity. Suffice it to say that he caused my dear FarmerFather untold grief. Now, since FarmerFather was 89, you can guess generally how old stepbrother is…he had many years to cause FarmerFather said grief.

In spite of living during the depression, marrying perhaps unwisely, he maintained a cheery disposition throughout the time I knew him. FarmerFather married my mom when he was only 79 and she 73. They were like newlyweds! He brought so much joy to my mom and took the best care of her that he knew how. Unfortunately we lost her to a stroke 4 years ago, so they had only 7 years together. FarmerFather worshiped the ground Mom walked on, and saw to her every need—even through the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.

Now I would like to touch a bit on regret. We all have regrets, and some are bitter. My bitter regret is that I allowed stepbrother to interfere with my relationship with FarmerFather these last 2 years. I saw him only once. Stepbrother moved him from his home to a nursing home without letting me know. I found him once, then FarmerFather evidently went into the hospital…when I inquired about FarmerFather, I was told he was no longer at that nursing home. I gave up. I let FarmerFather down! I weep for the goodbye not said.

I read a poem by an unknown author today that says my feelings exactly. It reads:

Life is not measured by the

Number of breaths you take

but by the number of moments

that take your breath away.

FarmerFather gave me many life moments, but more importantly, he lived a very full life with many moments that he felt life!

Memory Keeper